How to Cook a Turkey
1. Catch a chicken.
2. Pluck it.
3. Put the chicken in the oven.
4. Take it out after 10 minutes.
5. Cut it up.
That's all there is to it! Don't feel bad for being a sucker and slaving over a turkey for hours. You had no way of knowing until now.
Is that chicken still going to be alive after ten minutes? Am I horrible for even thinking about that?